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Tarot Card for Today: Nine of Swords

NIghtmares. Fear and confusion. Solitary worries. Wait until morning when you can see the solutions clearly. The night will pass.

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November 23, 2024 7:24 AM (EST)

Dear Allison & the Onyx Savant,

It is Saturday, and I hope you are both doing what you do. 😊 I also hope Masters Forest and Chingo are resting peacefully on this cold morning. Ms. B is up early and being herself. I guess that’s fantastic, except she requires other people to be fully aware of herself. Lol. Mood. I get it. What are you both up to today? I think you should enjoy something autumnal today. Throw leaves in the air like you’re in a commercial. I would advise jumping into piles of leaves, but only if you have recently raked them yourself and are intimately aware of their contents. Also, I can attest that my dog pees in every pile of leaves she sees, so if you multiply that times the number of dogs that have passed by along with any other creatures that have had the same inclination, you might change your mind. Unless you like jumping into urine with a side of leaves. I could see it if you’re already waulking wool or something. Tanning hides and leather goods. Anyway. Stick to doing something that smells like nutmeg, cinnamon, and orange, and you should be okay.

I am trying to figure out what to do with my Saturday, tbh. Generally, this is a day of rest in Idlewild’s Cave. But I am up and doing, and Ms. B is up and doing. I am feeling productive, oddly. I want to continue on my quest of home-doings. However, Mr. H may have other ideas, and we should probably plan to spend some time together today. He and I both tend to go off in our various corners. Maybe I will see if there’s anything on FB Events. That’s where most of the town seems to announce things. It would not be my platfrm of choice, but I moved here and not the other way around, so. When in Gastalonia...I didn’t have my planner up to snuff this week, and that threw me off, so I will try to spend some time doing that,. The dishes are terrible… And the laundry…Bah humbug…Same story…different day…but also different. Haha.

I am working myself up over this Thanksgiving trip now. I leave on Wednesday, and I am trying not to notice it out of the corner of my eye. I need to call my parents, and I don’t want to . G’damn it. Mr. H has left and just come back (?) from taking his parents to the airport, I think. I am not sure why he came back; they must have forgotten something. Anyway, he is in the process of taking his parents to the airport. I am trying not to encounter them right now. They have shown me who they are. I have not got my mask ready for that yet. His father sent us both a “Remember this” text with an old picture. Yes, I remember when you had not yet said I should just cope. I remember that. Anyway.

Maybe this is what the tarot card is about today. A “this too shall pass” generally, but also maybe wait until I can regulate these feelings more. I am very reactive around the topic of parental units, and no mistake. It is a mystery for the ages, I’m sure, but I need some perspective. I resent always feeling like I have to reach out to my parents, but that also feels silly. So I reach out again. Idk what I’m supposed to do here. I resent feeling like I always have to manage these situations. It’s a lifetime group project in which I am saddled with an elementary education major and an engineering student. I said what I said. Huzzah. “C.S. 69, maybe try raising your hand less.” This again? Stuck in the silent room with the tension growing while everyone tries to look away as if the professor is a homeless person who has just asked them for money? So fun.

Yeah, the card is probably right. I go back to “just do the next right thing” in these moments along with a touch of the K.I.S.S. principle. I will manage my own life to the best of my ability until I have more clarity or the World ends, whichever comes first. I am not dramatic at all. I read an article about methane gas levels rising faster in the atmosphere than they had calculated for. Something about the wetlands being warmer and wetter than accounted for. I mentioned to Mr. H about going somewhere with no winter, and he said that will be here in no time. He was kidding, but also not. It just got down to 0 degrees Celsius for the first time yesterday, I think. My outside plants don’t even look that bad. I do need to bring them in, but it’s actually warming up. The Northeast got hit with a winter storm, I think, but we basically got a tropical storm of cold wind and rain. The winter did not come in on little cat feet. Anywho. The societal climate feels very like that of the 1920s, almost, right now. Folks don’t have the money of the 1920s, but the cynicism and “worldly ennui” of the modernists, I mean. I expect some hedonism before the Great Push, whatever that will be. I expect some cool art in this maelstrom of emotions; I’m not requesting or happy about such an environment, I am simply forecasting the weather. If I forecast freezing rain, I’m not like “yay” on the inside. But if you’re going to have freezing rain, at least have some cool-ass, revolutionary art to show for it, ya know? Art has ever been the catalyst for change, as it asks us to stare into the mirror.

I was saying something to you both yesterday in terms of comparing people to plants, and I do want to come back to that idea. I have been trying to wrap my brain around writing essays and disentangling it from the dreadful exercises of my school days. Twain- or Swift-esque things. In the Idlewild Style™️. In my head, I laugh at myself and call them “sermons.” Maybe I should embrace that more. It could be a section of the newspaper. Like “Doctor” What’s-His-Face with Focus on the Family. Johnson or something. Anyway. He’s terrible, but it would be a good thing to satirise, particularly in this area where there are almost more churches than people. “Just who the hell do you think you are?” Literally no one. But I have eyeballs attached to a brain. I usually get onto these sermons in earnest when I am walking Ms. B. I normally walk her at the part of the morning where I am feeling most petulant. I have finished writing to you both and cannot think of a good reason to rest my lazy bones any longer. She always comes in to help at those moments and needs a brisk, 45-minute walk. So many emotions reside all in my back, hips, legs, and feet, I suppose. Sometimes when I walk it feels like I have tears in my hips and legs. Like watery tears. Not “tears” that rhymes with “bares.” And sometimes it’s a blast of anger and rage. All of these feelings make me think about things, and so I am constantly providing “lessons” in my mind like some old nag. Lmao. “And so, pupils, that is why we don’t start a trade war with China while they are cosying up with Putin who wants to annihilate us or at least dangle annihilation over our heads…” And I barely watch the news. Really. I see one article and lose my shit and run nowadays. The amount of injustice is not to be borne. That’s the one I usually tell you about. I have also consumed two PBS Newshours. I am awaiting to see what evil happens and what evil is thwarted by their own show of clown cars. But right now, no. And yet and still and even so…sermons bubble up in my mind unbidden and chattering away.

I’m going to move on for now. I’m just gazing compulsively at the thing now. Mr. H should be home for real soon. Maybe I’ll turn on someone inspiring to listen to and tidy all my crap. And change clothes. Yuck. I got some yoga pants and plaid leggings yesterday at the CVS. They have some non-terrible choices for apparel sometimes. The leggings I got are “Burberry plaid” (fake, obviously), which I find a hilarious statement. My CVS leggings in Burberry plaid. C’mon. You know that shit is funny. Anyway. I love you both and am giving you “mwahs” on your foreheads. Kisses and treats to the Goodest Bois.

Idlewild wuz here

but now she’s gone.

Left this note to carry on.

Those who knew her,

Knew her well,

And those who didn’t can go to—

💋 Case Study #69

Postscripts & Post-Its

Hippotherapy & Therapeutic Horseback Riding Prorgram Needs Your Assistance!

https://www.threads.net/@casestudyno69/post/DCuEFa-RF4W

https://www.threads.net/@drdoylesays/post/DCuQQfyP4gt

https://www.threads.net/@wutf.tv/post/DCuRIT2xBNd

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Is this autism? This feels like a trauma response for being beat.