Idlewild's Almanack: @February 2, 2025 6:42 AM (EST)

Eight of Arrows (Struggle)

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February 2, 2025 6:42 AM (EST)

Dear Allison & the Onyx Savant,

How is everyone? How are the goodest bois? I have missed you all, I promise. Is everyone ready for some nicer weather? It’s supposed to be much better this week than it was there for a while. I have even started planning my garden. I am slowly coming unfrozen, but it is taking a minute. I took an Adderall today to help, bless us all. I hope I don’t wind up a grenade.

I have been quite depressed, I’ll be honest. It started feeling like a mixed episode, but I think it’s just mainly sadness now. If my feelings had actually affected the natural world, I believe I would’ve set fire to the rain. The hard part of it all, is that it doesn’t really matter, my feelings. I know that my feelings perhaps should be as respected as anyone else’s, but to say they are is another form of denial. Anyway, I could barely express what was happening to me. At the worst moments, it felt like a glitch in my brain. But I am feeling more self-aware now. Sometimes it is hard to see what is happening to me because whatever is happening to me is blinding.

I know there is a protest this week. I am on the fence. The ones who should care do not. I need Jamie Raskin to engage in fisticuffs. We all need a leader. Seriously. There is no voice telling us what to do or how to make it right. Where is our Winston Churchill? I suppose the Germans didn’t have one. We may have to look to Trudeau and Macron. And I don’t have a personal leader anymore either, so it’s all up to me. That feels like a folly. “Hey, Idlewild, you’ve got to be the adult now and make everybody feel better even when you have -69 health points.” If ever there was an argument against intelligent design… Anyway, I doubt your average peaceful protest is going to have any effect, and 47 is slobbering at the bit to unleash military power against protestors. It feels like an ambush.

I am going to be real. They will have to “shoot first.” Right is on our side, as is decency. Democrats and other progressives aren’t usually war-like; it’s the intrinsic difference. So MAGA will have to set it off and do something so despicable and violent it can’t be overlooked. I thought that was January 6, but I guess not. There is always some tinder in every movement or war that gets caught. If it doesn’t, then it will just be a long, slow regression. Idk. I am thinking through sociological patterns I have witnessed and read about. I obviously cannot tell the future, but humans are human and behave in certain ways.

I see some difficulty ahead in organising. Right now, interestingly enough, we are all scattered across various platforms again, analog and digital. Elon and Zuck managed that. But still, the main channels are owned by the oligarchy. And we saw how easy (should’ve been) it was to see the right planning January 6 in advance. We need Radio Free America or something. There are channels, but nothing center-front. In a way, it’s good to have different streams of communication, but there should be at least two or three that people know they can turn to for accurate info and calls to action. Maybe I’ll wind up with a ham radio station in the attic. Haha…

The right keeps saying we have given up, and maybe some of us have, if only temporarily. It’s hard to know what would even work at this point. Lawyers are still important, but only to a point. As far as common folk go, I did see someone say that a general strike would be more effective than a protest, and I have to agree. We have to quit selling ourselves for free for enough time to make them realise our power. It’s hard as hell. I’ve seen ideas for rolling strikes too to mitigate the economic impacts on individuals. NC is a non-union state, so we don’t have a lot of the same mechanisms and traditions. It’s definitely harder to convince people of such a thing en masse here in the South. You’d get more traction in Appalachia, though.

Ally-san, it’s difficult to talk to you about some of this because of your professional obligations. I’m not sure of the finer points of the wording of your various vows and oaths, but it has come to my thoughts that civil disobedience may call for illegality in the future. Not from me! Perish the notion, but more—in the main. A hypothetical: how do you treat someone who is part of the Resistance? I guess the wording is “a danger to themselves or others.” So, like, a sit-in wouldn’t qualify. But the American Revolution would. I’m just asking questions. No, seriously, I am. I am trying to think this whole debacle through all the way. I need the lay of the land, even if it’s a marsh.

I don’t think I can manage to think about any of that anymore right now. It’s so heavy. Stopping Nazis. Vanti, I know this is my privilege talking, but I am still just whew whenever I think of it, that this is where we are. Oh well. I always did want to be an abolitionist. Where do I sign up? Is there a Google Form or is it on Indeed…? I am going to work on my garden because it is something I can do. I am also going to take a shower and feed this cat that will not leave me alone. Ms. B and Mr. H are still a’bed. That is why I have all this space to eat the inside of my brain.

I love you. I am sorry I haven’t been more talkative. My words are not sufficient to the task these days. I will attempt to do something about it, but you must look at my personal change like a glacier. Well, before they started all melting. Just never mind. It is Imbolc, and I really, really need Pandora’s butterfly. I hope we can all have a touch of light today.

Blessed be, loveys—

Case Study #69