Dear Allison & Lauren,
Huzzah! Welcome to Lauren AKA Campbell’s Soup! {Insert trumpets and fanfare and ticker tape, if we can still locate any.} Bienvenidos a mi Idlewild’s Cave! Allison, this is Lauren. Lauren, this is Allison. You two have a lot in common. Besides l’il ole me, and that’s quite enough to be going along with.
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Tara Brach - Meditation, Psychologist, Author, Teacher
Ms. Campbell*, please allow me to orient you as to what is happening. I am still fairly near the beginning of this little writing endeavour, so there isn’t a whole lot of catch-up to do. Do not panic; you aren’t far behind, and it shall be the work of a moment to bring you up to speed. Last month, I joined an online challenge hosted by Tara Brach. I have a strong suspicion that you know who she is, based on our conversation yesterday. ;-) But, as she is not a household name, I will point you to her website, which I have linked to the left. She is a Buddhist teacher, psychologist, and author of the book, Radical Acceptance. The title of
the challenge was the “Radical Compassion Challenge.” One of the exercises she put forward was to think of someone who you believe could forgive you. She challenged participants to write a letter to that person. Well, Allison, my individual therapist, has mentioned letter writing to me over the years, and there has always been a blockage that I could not explain. I will say that Allison has suggested—quite inline with best practices!—that I write letters to people like my parents or brother or people I’m generally angry with or having some sort of internal dilemma. I have never been able to really manage it and did not know why. However, when Tara suggested writing a letter to the person who could forgive you…well, that was easy. The person who could forgive me was Allison because she had already done so a million times. (My inside joke here is that she has to because I pay her to. Haha. I deflect with humour. Classic™️.) And I could definitely write a letter to Allison. That would be fun. I realised why I did not want to write letters to those other people all of a sudden: I did not want to tell them anything. I did not want to give them the gift of my gab. No, thank you. Rudeness. I would much rather talk to friendly people about my woes. Or my happinesses, either way. So, I began this little exercise as a way of getting myself to write more. Everybody’s always wanting me to write more. Le sigh. That is another conversation for another time.
Oh, boo! It has been almost an hour of writing this. This shit takes too long! I need a cable like in The Matrix to hook our brains together, so I can give you an upload of all this. It takes like five seconds to think. Argh! Okay, I think you know why this exists now. I am sharing this with you because after our session yesterday, I wanted to immediately start a group text with you and Allison to let Allison know that you, Lauren, are “one of us.” Obviously, that’s not really kosher with the ethics boards and whatnot, so here we are. You are now on the mailing list. I should probably add Dr. Webster, but she is swamped already and is a different breed, being a doctor. Science-y. She’s cool, though.
You will need a glossary of terms, a primer to my inner world. I amn’t a straight shooter. I will tell you what I think, but you have to know some Phyllis shorthand. Lol.
I think that is everything for now. I am getting nervous because I need to get a move on with my day. I have an appointment at the Neuro and Spine doctor today, and I am just like “ugh” and also “yay.” I have to complete a massive packet of info before that, which is always a blast. I get to gaze upon my wretched family medical history. I am counting on the Mr. Burns Syndrome to keep me alive. I also have an overflowing pile of dishes and laundry and a husband who is working from home and two mammals who are permanent toddlers and emitters of poop and vomit. Those last two are Ms. Bennett, our dog, and Mr. Bingley, our cat. They are named for characters in Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen. I don’t have any kids, sadly. If I did, they would be put to work, I can tell you that. No, it isn’t sad I don’t have kids. I am kidding. I just want a biddable waif. 😛
I shall close for now. Allison, I hope you and Forrest can get some walks in around the raindrops today. Lauren, I have no idea what your home situation is like exactly, but I hope it is an easy day for you and all you care for. I hope your pillows stay fluffy and upright and supportive. 😃 Ms. B needs a walk soon herself and so does my derriere. Be kind one to another! Namaste! Peace and good vibes!✌️
Stay sweet and sexy! 💋
Case study #69
*If you prefer a different honorific, please let Staff know, and every effort will be made to adhere to your preferences in the future. We strive to maintain a standard of excellence here within the Cave.